My 2020 Year in Review — Part 1

Recollections

Mathilde Leo
5 min readDec 31, 2020

If my future self asked: “so, what was 2020 like?” My first answer would probably be: a rollercoaster. But it wouldn’t be the right analogy. I enjoy rides way too much. So upon further reflection, I would respond: a Muay thai fight. Adrenaline of a different kind.

After a promising first round, I almost got knocked out in the second. Unexpectedly, I stood up and carried on. But I was hurt –– spending the following rounds stumbling around the ring. That’s what 2020 felt like. Fighting to stay on my feet. Attempting to land a few kicks. Finishing in a draw.

But it wasn’t all sweat and bruises. In fact, while it hasn’t been the easiest, I do have to credit 2020 with teaching me to become a more resilient person; and most importantly, it brought me closer to the people who mattered in my life.

This year in review is in three parts. It’s an attempt to crystallise the following:

  • Part 1: Recollections → what I want to remember
  • Part 2: Lessons → what I have learned
  • Part 3: Questions → what’s next?

Here are my most memorable moments

The highs

In January, I celebrated my 28th birthday feeling at home in Lisbon, surrounded with a circle of close friends. Quite a change from the past three winters spent solo-traveling and training in Thailand.

In February, I boarded a plane to Brazil — my first immersion in the culture I’d been exploring (falling in love ❤ with) from afar. I’m very grateful I was able to experience the sweet madness of the Rio carnival with my closest friend Cat — just a month before the world changed.

In spring, the first lockdown came with an unexpected upside: the opportunity to reconnect with some old friends and former colleagues. Over the course of a month, we swapped the usual social media chit chat for hours-long conversations. We dared to be vulnerable (over Zoom, who would have thought?) and we grew closer as a result.

In summer, I discovered a love for teaching. Together with Triangirls, I created my first public workshop: Take the Mic. I had long been itching to distill my experience mentoring Jam’s first-time speakers into a helpful framework. Could I help more people, specifically women, feel ready to take the mic and confidently share their story? When 50 women signed up for the first session, it was clear there was a need. The result was incredibly rewarding.

Let’s not forget my nephew’s first English lessons over Zoom; the quality time I spent with my mum; volunteering for the incredible Lisbon Project community; helping a good friend move to Lisbon; our many lunches at Tiffin, the local restaurant that feels like family; going on more riverside sunsets walks than I can count ; sharpening my Muay Thai skills with Dina during training sessions that felt a lot like therapy… and starting actual therapy.

A lot to be grateful for.

January: gave a talk for aspiring PMs — November: started a self-defense classes for women of the Lisbon Project 🥊
February: the calm before the storm (the Rio Carnival… and the pandemic) 🇧🇷
May: hundreds of newly remote product managers joined us (from anywhere!) for our first virtual conference: The RemotePM 🥰

The lows

As the world faced important disruptions, I dealt with my own personal setbacks. The 5th anniversary of my dad’s death. A crippling episode of depression. Seeing most of my goals crumble because of the crisis.

Let’s talk about that last one.

Coming into 2020, my most important goal was to scale Jam into a thriving event business — one that could impact the career of thousands of makers through the power of real-life experiences. “Impact” was in fact my one-word intention for the year. I had been consolidating what I had learned running our flagship London conference into a repeatable playbook. As early as January, we had announced 7 original events in 3 locations and dozens of inspiring speakers from all over the world. We were set for a year of growth.

The Jam events lineup before the pandemic.
Our secret sauce? IRL experiences, candid conversations & more

Then COVID hit. In a matter of weeks, everything blew up. We had to postpone and then cancel all these events. While we tried to stay optimistic, our attendees, speakers and partners shared our disappointment. A month later, we ran our first virtual conference: The Remote PM. While it was a great learning experience and a moment to reconnect over shared challenges, the virtual format just didn’t feel the same.

Conveniently, just as I caught COVID, I sunk into depression. That episode was months in the making, but it’s the prolonged self-isolation that acted as the final trigger. With zero social interaction and few distractions, my mind’s old demons were given carte blanche. I hadn’t felt that way in years. Completely stuck in my own head. Unable to function. A shadow of myself. Painful months later, I somehow managed to press the reset button.

What has this all (the highs and the lows) taught me? I’ll share my biggest lessons learned in part two of this year in review. Stay tuned, friends!

Year-round: Lisbon’s warmth (its people and sunsets) truly helped me stay sane! 🌅

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Mathilde Leo

Co-Founder& Curator @makingjam ▲ Product Career Mentor ▲ Muay Thai Fighter